À Paris

I’ve been living close to Paris for half a year now, and apart from writing about feeling like an outsider, I’ve hardly shared my experience here at all. It’s not like in the past 6 months the city had nothing good to offer. The problem is that my view of city was clouded by the emotional drama unfolding within me. In short, Paris didn’t change for the worse since the last time I visited it in 2015—my view of it did. I started associating Paris with the negativity I was feeling at the time and sometimes still do.

Almost exactly 6 months ago, I was springing with joy just thinking about moving to my favorite place in the world. And then I set foot here in Paris and wondered why I didn’t love it as much as I thought I would. Why did the City of Lights, adored by millions, not captivate my heart as it should have? I felt ridiculous and unsettled—how could I feel out of depth in a city as beautiful as Paris? I wanted to tell everyone how much I loved the city. Several times I opened my mouth but the words stayed on the tips of my tongue. If I wasn’t happy in Paris I surely couldn’t admit to love it.

And then today, Paris handed over my little rose rimmed glasses to me in a tray.

Today, I took the 300 steps to Sacré-Coeur, in addition to the ninety steps I took to come out of the Abbesses Station (my fault, I should’ve paid attention to the signs at the base of the staircase). But it doesn’t really matter, because the view from the top was totally worth the hike. With its pastel coloured boutiques, cute streets and cozy roadside restaurants, Montmartre is astoundingly beautiful. As I walked through a picturesque labyrinth of cobbled streets to arrive at the beautiful white église, I realised how happy Paris makes me.

Hanging from the railing and looking over Notre-Dame from Sacré-Coeur, I realised how incredible this city is and how wrong I was to associate it with the negative things going on in my life. The moment this truth was revealed to me was so satisfying and the view so magical that I could’ve stayed in that spot forever. I felt I could stay in Paris forever.

Walking past the charming bouquinistes and occasionally stopping to admire La Seine, I thought about the good things in life. After a long time, I felt an urgency in my step. I felt the urge to walk around the city till my body gave up. I felt the need to explore Paris as much as I could before I took the bus back to Jouy. I breathed in the city and almost wished to be lost in it. It’s like I met my true, buoyant self today after months of separation and I know that I will cherish this homecoming for years to come.

Paris, I hope you know how much these little moments with you matter to me. Thank you for being so patient with me. I now understand why Thomas Jefferson said that a walk about Paris will provide lessons in history, beauty, and in the point of life.

Even if tomorrow I have nothing to call my own in this city, I’ll have this city itself, and that will be enough.

♥

---

 

Life Lesson II

Hey, 2016. You’ve been ridiculously tumultuous. From rejections to triumphant happiness, you threw everything at me. You tested my patience and made me even more resilient. You awed and shocked me. 2016, you were a beautiful mess, a complete riot. Yes, you were very difficult, but like all others, you flew by. In retrospect, I’m glad that you were so tough with me. Because of you, I’m a better person today.

Throughout the year I’ve been writing about the lessons I’ve learned, about the things that life so far has taught me. I’ve been cataloging my experiences and desires for all to see (I’m so glad to have found a new hobby in blogging, it’s one of the highlights of 2016). In the same spirit, I’d like to share with you all the last set of learnings for the year.

---

Prepare to Achieve

You shouldn’t hope to achieve magnificent results if you’re not ready to put in an astonishingly huge amount of hard work into whatever it is that you want to achieve. Do not expect to ace that interview if you haven’t prepared your pitch. Do not complain when you get a lower grade if you’re not even sure what your presentation is about.

Do not say, “Oh, she got the job? Maybe it was her lucky day.” No, her day was as blessed and lucky as yours. She made it serendipitous because she prepared well.

Think about it: if you can’t do yourself a favour and prepare well, why should the universe and the world love you enough to reward you? Don’t be intimidated by hard work. Reflect on rejections. Cease complaining. Work on yourself. Try again.

You Can’t Change Anyone But You

What if a friend says unkind words to you? What if your boyfriend cheats on you? What if the errant driver curses you? What if the saleswoman looks down upon you? What if…

It’s annoying and frustrating, but you can’t change people. You’re only allowed to hack and chisel at your own raw form to sculpt the best version of yourself. Period. Yes, negative people have the tendency to upset your harmony and well being; and you may be tempted to ‘fix’ such people. But you can’t. You can only fix yourself to see the situation in a different light so that it doesn’t affect you negatively.

We Are All Good at Different Things

I’m good at math and you’re good at public speaking. Interviews make me nervous while they’re a cakewalk for you. I paint, you sing. If I you paint you’ll do no better than a toddler, and if I sing I’ll make people want to tear their eardrums off. This doesn’t make one of us better than the other; it makes our little world more diverse and beautiful.

Please don’t pitch your talent against mine (it’s like comparing apples with oranges), enjoy the variability. This world needs painters as much as it needs singers, and it values them equally.

Let Go of the Escapist Attitude

If you’re constantly blaming others for your failures and shortcomings, you’ll never manage to reach the stars. Successful people take charge of their lives, they control the entire theatre that their life is. You’ll never see them blaming others for their problems. You will, however, see them triumph despite all odds. People who say, “I couldn’t do well because of XYZ or ABC” are doing themselves a disservice and they don’t even know it.

Conclusion: Abandon escapism if you want to win at life.

Talk, Talk, Talk

Come out of your shell and talk to people because that’s the surest way to learn. In today’s tech savvy world, you may read everything there is to read and you may see everything there is to see; but if you don’t actively speak with other people, you shall forever remain deprived of real life learnings and another human’s perspective.

So talk. Talk to as many people as you can and try to find out what amuses them, what drives them, what they like to do and why they like to do what they do. Most answers will surprise you and open your own mind to interpretations and impressions you yourself couldn’t have imagined.

Society’s Standards are Ridiculous

The Society’s a funny thing. It judges if you wear skirts and it judges if you wear kurtis. It frowns and smirks if you’re 35 and unmarried and it ridicules if you’re 20 and married. It condemns rape and blames the victim. It talks behind your back if you make a lot of money. It also talks behind your back if you’re unemployed.

Oh Society, you’re a crazy breed.

Why must you bother about the insane society? You can’t match Society’s lofty standards anyway. Might as well do your thing (and be ridiculed) rather than hold yourself (and be ridiculed).

When All Else Fails, There’s family

Friends may come and friends may go but family is forever. Your family will stick with you through thick and thin. Mommy and daddy always, always have your best interests at heart. They’ll catch you when you falter and fall. They’ll swell with pride and shower you with kisses when you win. Sure, sometimes they make mistakes: they’re only human! But they’ll never abandon you. They’ll always help you figure out the puzzle that life is.

I’ll be moving to Paris for my Masters next year and I have no idea how I’ll survive alone. My family has spoilt me, and the damage is irreversible. Sigh.

---

To this year, and to the years to come.

©All Rights Reserved

Another Eventful Year

Image Source: timeanddate.com

“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes.

Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.

So that’s my wish for you, and all of us, and my wish for myself. Make new mistakes. Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody’s ever made before. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it.

Make your mistakes, next year and forever.”

― Neil Gaiman

…January 1, 2017 is the first blank page of a new 365 page book. Make sure you write that story that you’ve always wanted to tell. Fill it with bright colours and squeeze into it as many happy smiles as you can.

Reflect. Understand. Overcome.

Buoyant & Assured

Sometimes, just one quote says it all and offers encouragement to the soul.

And No Country for Old Men is loaded with such words of wisdom. If I manage to soak in and remember even half of the aphorisms that the story contains, I’ll be able to turn my life around for the better.

“You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from.”

“You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday don’t count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there? Your life is made out of the days it’s made out of. Nothing else.”

“It’s a life’s work to see yourself for what you really are and even then you might be wrong. And that is something I don’t want to be wrong about.”

― Cormac McCarthy, No Country For Old Men

---

 

Things I’m Learning at 20

Image Source: Google Images

This past month has been crazy. Not general crazy, but scary crazy. Shit crazy. Crazy crazy. I’m overwhelmed by what’s happening around me. Last few months in college.. and then? Darkness. God alone knows where I’m gonna end up!

Whatever has to happen will happen. Of course, I am playing my part. I was away from WP because I was prepping for GMAT (and wanted to give it my all). Hopefully a 720 will look good on the application.

*Fingers crossed*

Without further ado, I’m gonna walk you through this month’s learnings.
[But before I do that, I’m gonna make a promise. Not to you, but to myself. I promise that I will update my blog regularly, because I really, really like writing. It’s my sweet escape, far away from the chaos and mad confusion that surrounds me in real life. *I Promise*]

---

The Things I’m Learning at Twenty:

Friends versus Best Friends

I’ve always had a small, cozy friend circle. I’m one of those people who believes that one can have two, at most three good friends. At no point in my life I’ve known (intimately) more than, say, 6 people. But that’s changing now… and changing for good!

Until now, I had never shared a hearty laugh with more than 4 people (I know, I know). But now, I sit in a group of 10 people and laugh my heart out. No, the 10 people I laugh with aren’t my best friends. Perhaps I’ll not remember all of their names 20 years down the lane. Maybe they’ll not support me in my darkest hours. But they’re great people and are making my life merrier and happier at this point in time, just by being here. And that’s enough.

Seek Socially Awkward Situations

Put yourself in socially awkward positions. I dare you.

…What?

Two years ago, if you had asked me to leave my comfort zone, I would’ve made a mental note to never speak to you again. But now I’m twenty (and wiser). I’ve recognised how trivial and nonsensical my reservations usually are.

Conclusion: nothing’s awkward. Awkward itself isn’t awkward. Deliberately get into situations that make you uncomfortable. Eventually you’ll get used to them and the ‘awkward’ will vanish. So watch down the grocery store aisle and talk to that cute stranger. You won’t stutter after the third time, I promise.

People (Usually) Don’t Care

So you got into London School of Economics?

“Yay!”
“Wow, that’s great!”
“You’re a star!”
“Really? Partyyyy!”

Congratulations. You’ve earned yourself some gawkers for a couple of days, but that’s it. Your neighbours or the 500 friends in your Facebook don’t care that you got into LSE. They may congratulate you and wish you well, but they won’t care—just as you won’t if they buy a Mercedes. So don’t base your happiness on other peoples’ caring; because they won’t and you’ll end up hurting.

You Can’t Please Everyone

In 6th grade, one of my classmates was always picking on me (I still don’t know why). She would tell other girls that I was an arrogant little prick. I was sad. Her ridiculously snotty behaviour upset the 11 year old me and I complained to the teacher. The teacher, before speaking with the tiny snot, told me that it’s impossible to please and befriend everyone we meet, that we’ll often cross paths with people who’re generally displeased with everything.

Now, 10 years and several broken relationships later, those wise words resonate in my mind. Long story short, don’t worry about people who’re mad at you for no reason. If you can’t make them happy, somebody else will. Just chill and focus on stuff that really matters.

Read (But don’t read trash fiction)

Read because there’s always two sides to a story. Read because if you don’t read, you’ll only live one life; and if you do read, you’ll live the life of every character you fall in love with.

*Enough said*

Nobody’s Ever Inadequate

You can’t deny how ridiculously useless the world makes you feel sometimes (read: most of the time). So this 14 year homeschooled girl got into MIT. And that 18 year old boy developed some godforsaken software and sold it for a billion dollars. And you? Well you’re sitting in your pink pyjamas and munching nachos while sipping pepsi.

Do you feel stupid? I bet you do. But you’re wrong. You’re as good as that 14 year old or the 18 year old boy. You’re dear to your family. And you’re indispensable to your boss. (If you’re not, then you just haven’t found your expression as yet). No matter how small or insignificant you feel, remember that the world would’ve been a bit different if you weren’t around.

There’s No End Game

This is pretty philosophical. We just are. There were humans before you, and there will be humans after you’re gone. This shit didn’t start with you and it sure isn’t gonna end with you. So play your part in the grand scheme of things before you fade away.

Lighten up. No matter how many times you screw yourself over; life will go on!

Protect Your Dreams

Your dreams are your biggest asset. They’re your greatest possession. Jealous people (who’re afraid to follow their own dreams) will try to crush yours. They’ll mock you for dreaming big. They’ll say. “Dude, you’re crazy to think that this is possible”. But no matter what they say, you stay put.

You don’t abandon your dreams. You work hard and do everything it takes to make them come alive. How difficult can it be? Your dreams are truly yours. And you alone can nurture them.

Average Isn’t That Bad

It took me a long time to agree to this one. But it’s true. Average isn’t bad at all. In fact, it’s somewhat better than the alternative.
If you’re average, you don’t do more or less of anything; because you’re just average! You read, you eat, you drink, you dance, you get crazy- but just in the right amount- because, umm you’re average.

And of course, it’s easier to find the *perfect dress* if you’re of the average size.

---

Well, that’s enough gyaan for one day.
They say that a wise (wo)man learns from the mistakes of others. So learn away!

©All Rights Reserved

 

Life Lesson 101

Image Source: Google Images

I know, I admit it. I’ve been neglecting my blog. I haven’t been reading your lovely posts, haven’t been posting anything. I’m sorry.

I got reasons to explain my absence though. Bear with me, please? I haven’t been in the best of my spirits lately. I haven’t lived up to my best image, I haven’t been the best version of myself. I haven’t been taking care of my health. I haven’t been a good friend, haven’t been a good daughter. Heck, I haven’t been a good person. This last month was wild, and I let myself down. That I failed to embrace positivity is an understatement. I, in fact, have been systematically shedding it from my life.

Err, that’s a lot of have-nots.

My grandfather had two heart attacks inside of 15 days and had to undergo an emergency heart surgery. I was mad because I couldn’t help him. A childhood friend lost her father. I was mad because I couldn’t make her feel better. I neglected my own health because I was too sad to exercise and eat healthy, no kidding. I got accepted into the Harvard Peek Program, but decided not to go for it. Then later I was mad at myself because I let go of such a brilliant opportunity. Ain’t I stupid?

I think I caused a rift between two friends, got yelled at for attempting damage control. So I was mad at myself for trying. I was so angry with myself that I refused to study. 3 weeks and I didn’t touch a book. I was so busy being sad, how could I make time for books?

Yes, I’ve had a mad, rough few days.

But it’s a bad phase, not a bad life.

They say bad times teach resilience. Well, it’s true.

---

Now I’m no Tibetan Monk. I don’t have sagely mantras to offer to you. But here are some lessons I’ve learnt. It’s something we all know—we just need a reminder from time to time.

Don’t be hard on yourself

Really, it’s no good. Stretching yourself too far will only break your spring. Instead, push yourself slowly. An inch at a time. It’ll take a while, but you’ll reach the terminus without breaking your back. And if not, then remember that you don’t have to excel at everything, okay? Mediocrity is not always bad. Find yourself a different path.

Timing is NOT everything

They teach you that opportunity knocks only once. That’s a big, fat lie (Tell me who’s spreading these lies, she needs a thrashing). If you let an opportunity pass you by, worry not. You have your whole life ahead of you, countless opportunities will knock at your door. You’re competent, you’re strong. You’ll net them. If life gave us only one chance we’d go to our graves as soon as we’re born.

Do NOT hate

Life’s too, too short to hate. Hatred will make your insides hollow, it’ll make you a bitter, jealous human. It’ll do you no good. Learn to love and forgive, learn to let go. You’ll be happier and merrier. Forgiving is not a sign of weakness. It’s a strength you must strive to posses.

There are things you can’t control

I struggle a lot with this one. There’s so much around us over which we have no control. You had plans for shopping but its 45 degrees outside? You’re mad but can you control the sun? No? Then get over it. Go shop another day. You can’t control weather, people, death or traffic. Put on a smile, be brave and let it go.

Grow and evolve

You’ll lose if you don’t evolve. Darwin’s Natural selection, ding ding! Let your heart, mind, soul grow and flourish. It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself, but it’s worth every effort. A static mind will creep you and eat you alive. So let it blossom, let yourself blossom. Keep making advances, one at a time. Identify areas where you need to make changes and then work systematically to achieve your ideals. Expand your comfort zone.

Stop giving excuses

So you’re dissatisfied with your life? Who’s stopping you from making changes? You want to exercise more? Then exercise more. You want to eat healthy? Then do it. You want to go out more? Then go out more. Take charge now. It’s your life and only you can tract it! Push yourself to the edge and then make a leap. The wind will charge your body.

You’ll find peace

It may sound impossible right now. But if you show enough determination and resilience, you’ll soon clear the mess around you. You’ll disentangle one net at a time and slowly free yourself. It’ll take a week, a month, or a year— but you’ll find peace. Things may not make sense right now, but they’ll all fall into place. Do your part and then let life work its miracles.

Find reasons to be positive

It’s difficult when you’re stuck in a bad phase. But positivity is perhaps the only thing that’ll help you recover and build yourself again. You’re your person, never forget that. Things may be bad right now, but it will get better. It always does. So find that positive ray of light and keep it close to your heart. The dark clouds will make way for sunlight. Exude positivity and watch good things come to you.

Do NOT judge

This is a no-brainer. Everybody—your friends, your foes, your family, people on the streets—is fighting their own battles. You do not know which war they’re waging, what’s causing them to be mad and angry. Be patient, be accepting. They’re your people. Do not judge and make monsters out of people in your head. They’re as confused, sad, mad, angry & puzzled as you are.

Well that’s it for now. But as you might have guessed, this list is by no means exhaustive. Maybe you can add to it? Let’s see if we can make it more comprehensive! As for me, I hope I act over this wisdom and not come across as a hypocrite. Pardon me if I do, I’m only human!

---

©All Rights Reserved