Because It’s Raining

Do you not feel calm? I do.

I stole my sister’s lollipop. She doesn’t really read my blog so she won’t ever know that her beloved candy stick disappeared into my stomach. Gotcha, baby. Remember when you broke my sandals? Ha.

…And now, some good news. The sky has cracked open its butt and is spurting water on us. Ew. Anyway, the temperature has nosedived and met officials say it’ll be long before it starts escalating again. Yes, you guessed right. Rain makes this girl happy. Rain makes this girl go gaga.

Rain no come, people go mad. Also, rain come and people go mad. People, please stop complaining about jams and waterlogged roads? Aren’t you used to it yet? Abandon your cars on the road and wetly gallop home. Refuse to crawl back home and take charge of your life. Grrrr!

Oh, and if you can’t do that, then don’t ask for rain. See it’s not the government’s job to build drainage or sew severed roads. The government’s job is to ensure corruption and fabricate scandals. It has also been seen that governments actively engage in fooling naive people, by tricking them into believing phoney-fake-promises.

Now, it seems the current government’s doing a poor job. Err, big dude? You’re losing credibility. I haven’t heard of an outrageous scandal involving a mind boggling sum of money in the last 2 years. After Coalgate and 2G Spectrum scandal, that’s fresh. Also the expressways are being built speedily without a hint of corruption. Hmm.

But to this government’s credit, it’s doing a remarkable job of regulating people’s eating habits. B.. Be.. Bee.. Beef. Hush hush. Apparently, it’s bad to slaughter cows for flesh only if you’re going to eat it. If you export it, it’s okay. I think I read somewhere that India is the largest exporter of beef. Isn’t this hypocrisy funny? Tickles me to death. And how they conceived of ‘Fat Tax’ is beyond me. Talk about ingenuity.

Of course, the netas care about culture and women. They’re also in direct contact with God. So that’s how they know that “boys will be boys” and that “girls belong in the kitchen and must serve their husbands”. Netas also know a lot about family planning and one such knowledgable guy has advised families to have at least 4 boys. Mind you, 4 boys and not 4 children. Come on, people! BREED! Because 1.2 billion humans just aren’t enough.

So you see the government has our best interests at its heart. It’s made up of angels and… what do you call male angels? Gee, I need to work on my vocabulary.

But you see it now, right? The government has a lot on its plate, obviously it can’t make time for drains and roads. Deal with it, people. Embrace the chaos and splash in the rain. And when you’re done, look for the rainbow. There is one, always.

**As you might have guessed already, I’m going nowhere with this post. I just wanted to tell you that I’m still alive. Also, I hope you find sarcasm funny.

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