Because It’s Raining

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Do you not feel calm? I do.

I stole my sister’s lollipop. She doesn’t really read my blog so she won’t ever know that her beloved candy stick disappeared into my stomach. Gotcha, baby. Remember when you broke my sandals? Ha.

…And now, some good news. The sky has cracked open its butt and is spurting water on us. Ew. Anyway, the temperature has nosedived and met officials say it’ll be long before it starts escalating again. Yes, you guessed right. Rain makes this girl happy. Rain makes this girl go gaga.

Rain no come, people go mad. Also, rain come and people go mad. People, please stop complaining about jams and waterlogged roads? Aren’t you used to it yet? Abandon your cars on the road and wetly gallop home. Refuse to crawl back home and take charge of your life. Grrrr!

Oh, and if you can’t do that, then don’t ask for rain. See it’s not the government’s job to build drainage or sew severed roads. The government’s job is to ensure corruption and fabricate scandals. It has also been seen that governments actively engage in fooling naive people, by tricking them into believing phoney-fake-promises.

Now, it seems the current government’s doing a poor job. Err, big dude? You’re losing credibility. I haven’t heard of an outrageous scandal involving a mind boggling sum of money in the last 2 years. After Coalgate and 2G Spectrum scandal, that’s fresh. Also the expressways are being built speedily without a hint of corruption. Hmm.

But to this government’s credit, it’s doing a remarkable job of regulating people’s eating habits. B.. Be.. Bee.. Beef. Hush hush. Apparently, it’s bad to slaughter cows for flesh only if you’re going to eat it. If you export it, it’s okay. I think I read somewhere that India is the largest exporter of beef. Isn’t this hypocrisy funny? Tickles me to death. And how they conceived of ‘Fat Tax’ is beyond me. Talk about ingenuity.

Of course, the netas care about culture and women. They’re also in direct contact with God. So that’s how they know that “boys will be boys” and that “girls belong in the kitchen and must serve their husbands”. Netas also know a lot about family planning and one such knowledgable guy has advised families to have at least 4 boys. Mind you, 4 boys and not 4 children. Come on, people! BREED! Because 1.2 billion humans just aren’t enough.

So you see the government has our best interests at its heart. It’s made up of angels and… what do you call male angels? Gee, I need to work on my vocabulary.

But you see it now, right? The government has a lot on its plate, obviously it can’t make time for drains and roads. Deal with it, people. Embrace the chaos and splash in the rain. And when you’re done, look for the rainbow. There is one, always.

**As you might have guessed already, I’m going nowhere with this post. I just wanted to tell you that I’m still alive. Also, I hope you find sarcasm funny.


©All rights Reserved. Image used is my own.

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29 thoughts on “Because It’s Raining

  1. I just came in from a beautiful seawall walk after a late afternoon rain and the stormy sunset left in it’s wake to read your “rainy”post and wander through all the cool comments, you’ve made me smile as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lol your sarcasm made me smile a bazillion times 😀 You should do more of these rants! Under that layer of sarcasm though, you talked a lot about things that made me think more of stuff (ya know… stuff 😀 my vocab skills). I live in US and everyone complains about the government… constantly cause it’s that wrecked! The male angels though…. hahahahaha 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. your government sounds kinda like mine, it appears the singular tasks of government is to be corrupt and sew scandals that’s fabricate right

    I happen to like the rain too but something about a Lil rain makes people forget all rules of the road and suddenly it’s like you are in a death rally video game. …..
    ~B
    PS what if your sister one day reads your blog?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my, it seems governments are the same everywhere!
      The death rally video game comment’s on point, the accuracy is striking, haha.

      And about my sister. It’s unlikely that she’ll read this, but if she ever does, that’s the end of lollipops for me. I’ll be 90 and still hearing about how I deprived a child of her lollipop :p

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Mr Government Men probably study and plagiarise from the same books….
        Well you could always say it was a made up story about the case of the vanished lollipop 🍭 ?
        ~B

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Well on that account our chief minister is very wise 🙂 and he too is preoccupied with modernising the city with roads underpasses flowers and police 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my god. No! I mean yes, some parts of the city are better than the others but by no means have we solved our drainage vows. In fact, I’d share with you something very funny- they built an underpass in Delhi with no drains. Imagine!

      Like

  5. My friend once tried the leave car at home and go frolicking and dancing in the rain this one time. Last I heard he fell down a drain in an open manhole and was found floating in the Arabian Sea 😂😜 Well, living in Mumbai is not easy! 😂😛

    This is hilarious and on point! I’m a fan of your sarcasm girl. It’s a rarity these days, and I’m afraid and hope that the government doesn’t notice. Otherwise they may introduce a intelligence tax or worse a comedy tax.

    I really think you’re hilarious. Plus stealing lollipops from your sister, and then blogging about it! Wow, you’re courageous too!

    I think you’d make a wonderful wife and excellent mother to the 4 boys the government wants you to have 😂😛

    Look forward to more sarcasm loaded posts, Cheers 😉👍👍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my god. That’s so cool. I need to visit Mumbai. I’m too fond of swimming, just can’t afford the club membership. :p
      And I gathered courage to blog about the lollipop because I know the lazy bum will never read my blog. Otherwise I wouldn’t dare.
      And yes, Everything is acceptable. Even the comedy tax. But birthing four boys? Four? That’s an outrageous demand. I don’t know how they come up with these ideas. It’s beyond me. :p 😂

      Thank you for your wonderful words, they put a smile on my face. I’ll try never to disappoint you.☺️
      Thanks againnn❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😂 You’re a funny girl! I hope you do visit Mumbai, I could use a few swimming lessons 😜 And you don’t need club membership, we have many rivers forming on the roads in the rainy season 😂😂😂

        And don’t worry about disappointing me, that’s our governments job 😂😜👍 Keep blogging, cheers 😊💕

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I love your posts. Mostly because they are not connected to each other in any possible way. Your writing style is so fresh and your endless rant in this post was just adorable. BTW even if your sister reads this post, she will forget all about her lollipop by the time she reaches the end of the post. Your distraction strategy looks very effective. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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