Prickly PoliticsĀ 

Ahhh, the P word.

We love the P-word. Our dinner table conversations would run dry sans the P-word. Had it not been for the P word, most of our worthy mediahouses would be forced to shut shop. The P-word spices up our otherwise bland recipe of mundane daily chores. The P-word is often our rescuer,  transforming otherwise dead convos into fierce battles of crass ideology. Want to steer the empty gabfest to common grounds? Simply  invoke the P-word.

Be it the chaiwala stall or the upscale cafĆ© in Khan Market, you can spot people smirkingly involved in vicious political rhetoric at any time of the day. Politics in India is infamously famous- perhaps the only thing everyone in India has an opinion on. We crave politics as much as we desire oxygen. Lest we die of boredom!

An excerpt from a conversation I heard in the metro:

Optimist: We need good people in politics…

Pessimist: Omg did you hear? She’s now a member of the so-and-so party, she’s got decent money why does she want more?

Optimist: …maybe she’s not in it for money. Politics is social work! If she’s successful in rooting out corruption from the highest office in the state others may follow suit

Pessimist: Ha, in your sweet dreams. People enter politics to earn quick bucks, not to serve the public. And power, who doesn’t want power? And big bungalows with great lawns, they get that too. Rutba hi alag hai. 

Optimist: She lives in a mansion, I’m sure she’s not doing it for the palatial bungalow.

Pessimist: Tu bholi hai (You’re naive). Grow up. If she was into social work she would’ve started an NGO.

 

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So what is it that makes Indian politics so delectable? The Indian Politician! The Great Indian Politician emerges the triumphant winner of the How-Lowly-Can-You-Get contest. She discredits opponents and catapults abuses in an exceptionally fluent tongue. Plus, she lacks morals and ethics and eats public money. She’s perfect

But let’s forgive the poor politician for making frivolous promises and using crude language and give credit where its due. Her job is tough and she works very hard. After all, the mammoth stupidity she displays isn’t bestowed upon her by god. She generates it herself. A first time politician (ex-IPS officer) was asked why she lost the elections, her immense popularity notwithstanding. She mused –Politics mere khoon mai nahi hai. Ye toh mujhe aata hi nahi hai. Dilli ne hamari seva nahi maangi toh koi baat nahi. 

Evidently the amount of politics in your khoon decides your winnability. But even though political khoon may be necessary, it’s certainly not sufficient to guarantee victory. The county’s Youth Icon will readily back me on this one.

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A weird juxtaposition of love and hate, we detest politics so much that we discuss it 24/7. By now we know that stupidity in politics isn’t really a handicap. After all, democracy allows you to vote for the candidate you dislike the least.

 

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